You Deserve Better
by Althaea11
Summary: This one shot kept aching in my heart when I re-watched S03E14 "Over/Under". Maura's ache when she sees Jane in pain over Casey. I wish to continue it with one more chapter. A/N: Couldn't add this one to my "Sea Shells" story because of the anguish in this chapter. Rizzles' feel.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Notes:** _This one references the point in the fourteenth episode of the third season where Casey leaves Jane in her apartment in a miserable state and she calls Maura. This one might seem to be a little hard for those who like Casey; however I do not intend to put him as a bad person, just as someone who fails to see the pain he is causing to someone close while he is going through a tough time. Maura's point of view._

Maura was feeding Bass his favorite strawberries when she heard her cell phone ring. It was Jane. For reasons unknown Maura felt a tinge of concern and she wasn't relieved of it when she picked the phone up.

"Hello, Jane?"

"Maur," Maura heard Jane pause and sigh. She was about to question when Jane continued, "Maur, can you come by? I am at my apartment;" Maura could sense the ache in her voice and the hurt in her breath. "I just don't feel like staying alone tonight."

"Of course Jane, I will be right up."

Maura hung up and hurried to be alongside her best friend but her mind raced from the events of today and she had a fair idea what was troubling Jane so much. Casey had come by today, to leave again. Jane loved Casey; so much so that it hurt her. Every time Casey came by, it felt as if he opened a gaping wound when he left. The last few times, of course it was terrible what had happened to him, but he was making an unintentional habit of leaving Jane stranded every time, in as much emotional pain as he was, even more. Maura couldn't understand. Was Casey not able to see what he was doing to Jane? Or did he still see Jane as a young naïve and vulnerable college student? She was not. The Jane that Maura knew was brave and strong and resilient. She could fight battles no normal human could without breaking. And yet, Casey thought it wasn't right for Jane to see him like this, help him and hold him. Maura wasn't judging one sided. She understood Casey's reasons to some degree. He did not want to strung Jane along a path he wasn't sure was worth her pains. He thought, being the man, it was his duty to be the support and not the other way around. However, Maura couldn't see past Jane's pain.

The hurt that took over Jane's heart and soul every time Casey left was torturing Maura as well. Jane's eyes created havoc every time Casey came and left. Right now, perhaps Jane was crying. Maura couldn't even take it up to her heart to picture that. She couldn't see tears in those eyes. She was trying to handle this in the morning as well. Whole thirty four minutes when Jane kept talking to her, sorting her feelings for Casey, she was listening with her heart in the clasp of her fingers. She was listening to the throbbing in Jane's voice that ached for a reasonable explanation. She was wondering if she should tell her that she didn't deserve this pain, this indifference and this anguish. It was torturing Jane, the way she was trying to reason her irrational heart with what Casey was throwing at her. Maura felt anguish, rage and helplessness course through her veins. But it wasn't her place to question. She was her friend and she was supposed to help her; sort things out. And that is what Maura decided to do. She couldn't stop the pain and hurt from coming, but she made it her mission to stand with Jane until this pain receded, to soothe her in any way she could, and to be the friend she deserved when her heart writhed in pain.

Even if Maura couldn't keep Jane from harm's way, she was ready to do anything to lessen the misery that raged in Jane's heart because her own heart was squirming in agony and calling for aid.


	2. Chapter 2

"Just wanna pretend that it is all going to be fine. Can you do that with me?"

The words had been echoing in Maura's mind ever since Jane voiced them. She had found out that Casey knew that he might not even come back from the surgery; that there were risks that could amount to his death. He had given his dog to Sergeant Korsak and asked him to take care of her if he didn't come back. He knew. Her own agony over Jane's pain aside, Maura's soul was troubled with the probability of what would happen to Jane if Casey never came back to Jane. It was easy to tone down her thoughts and feelings when she weighed Jane's happiness over hers but right now this voice was blatantly telling her to at least do something before everything inside Jane crumbled down. If Casey never made it, she knew Jane would be inconsolable and devastated. She knew a pain like that could devour you whole and pin you down in the ever sinking darkness of agony so much so that you might never be the same person again. Maura wasn't ready to have that for Jane. She couldn't bear that pain. Even the mere thought caused her heart to tighten in her chest. She knew that if Jane went down the spiral, she won't be able to sustain either. _Why?_ She wondered and although she heard a small voice rippling through the waves of her consciousness, she decided to close the eyes to it; not because she couldn't imagine it to be true, but because she was afraid of everything falling apart if she ever acknowledged that. It was easier this way.

What was not easy was telling Jane to not to pretend. Because even though the realization of the brutal truth that there was a significant possibility that Casey was going to end up dead in the operation theatre, was going to break her heart, it would be unfair to not to tell her the truth and give her the time she needed. She deserved to know. And she needed to be ready. Denial wouldn't lead her anywhere. If only Maura could muster the courage to break the fact to her and see her crumble and collapse in front of her own eyes with the mere thought. She had no idea what to do.

Maura closed her eyes to process all the unquenchable thoughts. The train of questions halted at the image of a Jane smiling at her and she felt moisture soaking her eyes. She would have to do that; for Jane. In her heart, she knew there wasn't anything that she wouldn't do for her best friend. And even though telling her the truth meant seeing her fall to pieces, she would have to stay strong; stay strong for Jane. Of all the times, Jane needed her now.

Maura brushed the tear that had escaped her now glistening eyes. She wouldn't break down tonight. She had to be strong enough to guide Jane through the hurt and ache. She had to make sure that Jane found her smile again, even if that meant holding the pieces of a broken glass.


End file.
